Who said the Government is:
the Unwilling appointed by
the Unable to do
the Unnecessary
- one of the primary beauties of the Internet is that accountability has become accountable... (if only people could count or in some cases even read (aka too many American idiots distorting the statistics)
All Govt is useless IMHO – be an idiot - pay tax / rates if you want / are an idiot, *more on that later…
In this vein my own personal experience has now morphed into a little pseudo fledgling Dept just for the 6 Counties. Be advised: at the end of the year I will organise a vote for the Dept of the Year.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Donnelly acting as Minister of the Public Facing Office of the semi-Permanent Under-Secretary for Communications and Announcements
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THE DEPARTMENT OF NOT OUR PROBLEM OFFICIALLY LAUNCHES, CONFIRMING WHAT MANY HAVE LONG SUSPECTED
New body pledges to document, in exhaustive detail, all matters that relevant authorities have determined are somebody else's responsibility
BELFAST, 31 March 2026 — The Department of Not Our Problem today announced its formal establishment, filling a critical gap in the public information landscape that officials across multiple tiers of government have repeatedly confirmed is not their gap to fill.
The Department, which has been described by its initiators as "entirely unnecessary" and having no elected representative (baggage / dumb mf) whatsoever, will serve as the official record of ongoing issues, chronic failures, and preventable problems that have been collectively determined — by those with the power and budget to address them — to fall outside their current remit, strategic priorities, or frankly their interest or ability, maybe even their - anterograde amnesia - the inability to create new memories after an event that caused amnesia - aka a handful of cash..all right Sammy...
"We exist," said a spokesperson, "because one has to, or not, it is Zen."
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MISSION STATEMENT
The Department of Not Our Problem is committed to the rigorous, impartial, and mildly furious documentation of:
• Infrastructure that was supposed to be fixed
• Systems that were supposed to work
• Communications that were supposed to contain information
• Departments that were supposed to care
Our editorial position is one of weary neutrality. We do not take sides. We simply note, with a raised eyebrow and a heavy sigh, what is happening, and then contrast it with what was supposed to be happening. In the current climate there is no political - a$$holes are a$$holes when it comes to ineptitude.. don't crowd me... don't crowd me...
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WHY NOW
When asked why the Department was launching at this particular moment, a founding editor paused, gestured broadly at everything, and said: "Have you been outside driving about recently or trying to park?" is it not pre April's Fool s Day - is that not the day the veil between assholes and reality is the thinest.. ah feck that is Halloween... let's go on anyway...
Analysts confirmed this was sufficient justification.
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COVERAGE AREAS
The Department will initially focus on a few hip flagship beats:
🔌 Utilities & Billing — covering the innovative frontier of companies who cannot determine whether a bill has been paid, and the customer service infrastructure built to not address your concerns about this.
🕳️ Roads & Infrastructure — with particular attention to the pothole as a civic institution; its origins, its growth, its community impact, and the rich tradition of doing absolutely nothing about it.
🕳️ Parking- Councils paying assholes or vice versa
Further trajectories are expected to emerge organically, as they always do, because there is no shortage of material. We'd be glad to hear from you if it is sort of half sensible.
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A NOTE ON ACCOUNTABILITY
The Department wishes to make clear that it holds no regulatory power, no enforcement capability, and no official standing of any kind.
In this respect, it is not entirely unlike several bodies that do.
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ABOUT THE DEPARTMENT
The Department of Not Our Problem is an independent entity dedicated to covering the vast administrative space between "someone should do something about this" and "someone doing something about this." and "someone doing fuck all /nothing about this."
We are not affiliated with any Government Department, utility provider, local council, or other body — largely because none of them have responded to our requests for comment (or sponsorshop)
They are all in Portrush or Bundoran ;-) - whatever..
All the news that isn't anyone's responsibility.
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— Ends —
Press / any enquiries: please submit your question via the online form, allow 5-7 working days for a generic acknowledgement, and a further 28 days for a response that does not address your question.
Although - https://www.dd.ie/p/contact.html
